This is another extremely distressing condition; the clinical description of 'a painful spasm of the vaginal muscles' barely does justice to the distress it can cause. The symptom is usually of psychological origin, though it is not at all unusual for the female to believe that there is something physically wrong with her, a belief that will usually persist even after a through gynaecological investigation.
Any possibility that penetration might be attempted will create a powerful FEAR
reaction. If the fear is rationalised, it will usually be that some awful
and immensely painful injury will occur.
There have often been repeated attempts at intercourse; sometimes a male has even attempted to force penetration and it says something for the strength of the vaginal muscles that such attempt is not usually successful. Even on the odd occasion when there has been a full penetration, the condition does not go away - it might well get worse, in fact, just as it does after every failed attempt, whether force is used or not.
To the sufferer, it seems that she is a freak of some sort. She is bombarded with information from the media - and friends - about how the modern woman is as interested in sex as any male is and lusts after a 'big hard dick' on a daily basis. The fact that she is not able to insert even a tampon into her vagina will help to convince her that there is something terribly wrong with what she might call 'my bits' and she cannot see that she could ever receive an erect penis.
She will also sometimes have a completely false idea of the actual size of an erect penis, even if she sees one on a regular basis - the Vaginismus sufferer asked to use her hands to illustrate the size of an erect penis will often unwittingly exaggerate, showing dimensions that are at least fifty per cent bigger in girth and length than normal reality. In this situation, an erect penis becomes an object of perceived immense pain and even the mention of the word, or any slang reference to it, will cause disquiet and even panic. For many women, it is not only the perceived size but also the vivid colouration which is perceived as threatening.
It is virtually impossible to relieve this symptom without physically discovering that the vagina IS perfectly capable of accommodating an erect penis and that far from being painful or uncomfortable, it is usually a pleasant experience. This discovery also needs to be linked to sexual arousal and the best way to achieve this is to use a vaginal expander kit (or a vibrator, though this tends to be less effective) and an erotic film - there are products on our shopping page which might help.
There is sometimes an overall concern about sexual activity, including masturbation; where this is the case, learning to masturbate successfully can be of immense help and the Female Masturbation Guide on this site will be useful in this respect. If all else fails, then therapy is strongly indicated.