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Female Problems

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Along with lack of libidic drive, Anorgasmia is one of the most commonly experienced female problems. It is a distressing condition to say the least and it is important to understand that the client's profound belief is that no matter how much stimulation is applied and for how long, she simply is not able to 'come' (often spelt 'cum'). That belief is part of the problem, of course, and part of our task is to gain an understanding that she has all the equipment necessary to do the job but that she has not yet properly learnt how to use it.

Anorgasmia, like so many sexual difficulties in both females and males, takes two forms: Primary and Secondary. In Primary Anorgasmia, she has never had an orgasm at any time. She has no idea what it feels like and cannot even begin to imagine 'what all the fuss is about', and sometimes wonders if she has had one without knowing it. Sometimes she will be aware that 'something started to happen but then it went away'; some individuals can achieve the 'plateau phase' but not progress beyond it; and yet others will only have experienced pleasant, definitely not exciting, sensations. In general, this individual will be far less frustrated than the individual suffering Secondary Anorgasmia for in this situation, the female has achieved orgasm in the past but has somehow lost the ability. Usually, not always, there will be adult trauma or guilt at the root of such a circumstance.

Although not truly a form of Anorgasmia, it is a not particularly unusual circumstance that a female can achieve a perfect orgasm via masturbation, though rarely or never from intercourse; it is tempting to believe that a psychological process is at work here and indeed it can be, but it is just as likely to have something to do with her partner or the way that they approach intercourse - though she may not be fully aware of this. This is one of the situations where she needs full awareness of the way that the female sexual self actually works. See: Intercourse Anorgasmia

One of the commonest physical causes of anorgasmia is the use of anti-depressant medication, including the newer selective-serotonin-reuptake-inhibitors (SSRI) and it is obviously important that we check on that possibility, maybe referring her back to her medical doctor if this proves to be the case. If she still needs the medication, then it is possible that a different prescription will eliminate the problem.

The Answer
Sometimes, the difficulty can be resolved simply by studying the Female Masturbation Guide on this site - sometimes all that is really needed is a little private practice in order to gain confidence. If you are suffering from this problem, it is possible that you have been taught that the genital area is a 'naughty' or 'forbidden' part of the body; if this is so, ask yourself exactly what whoever taught you that wanted to happen as a result and exactly why they wanted that to happen. Sometimes, using a hand mirror to study your genitalia while exploring to see what feels good can also be of great assistance since this will tend to desensitise you to any feelings of guilt associated with sexual arousal.

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